Well, as you may notice, summer is over...school is about to start in a few days and I really don't know what to feel...This is my first year in highschool and I'm really anxious, but at the same time so deeply heartbroken cuz all my friends are at different highschools...only C. is with me in the same class, and I thank God for that! At least I have him... Anyway..the point is, what is the connection between seasons and our feelings, moods, perspective on life? Cuz there certainly is a connection.In summer I'm all happy and good-willing, in autum grey clouds come in and kick off all the happines, and I begin feeling miserable, and winter just makes it worse.[of course, this happens when you are single...like me]And spring... spring is just like a little ray of light at the end of the tunnel. Spring just gives you freedom,will and hope, for giving love a second chance... It all seems to be hovering around love, isn't it?But, as always, there are the lucky ones...that are so overwhelmed by love it makes people like myself fell even more miserable! when you see all those cute couples cuddling and laughing, and kissing... it makes you feel like nobody likes you, and you are all alone in this world. Even if you know that it's not true it still affects you in some way...
On the other hand, there is one feeling that seems to make you fell better, makes you feel more confident and raises your self-esteem. The feeling that you are independent. That you don't need a boyfriend to make you feel happy and acomplished. When you get that feeling, it's like a vacation from all the depressing thoughts. You no longer feel like you're no good, it's the other way around, the others are no good for you. And that is the best feeling ever! cuz it comes along with happiness, great self-esteem, confidence,independence and guts. It really makes you feel on top of the world. If I would feel like that most of the time my life would be wonderfull. But it doesn't last as long as you want it to. And I agree with that, cuz if you felt the same thing all the time what would the story of your life be? It's better to have 'downs' too, not just 'ups'. If life would be just about good thing we couldn't figure it out, you need unpleasant things from time to time, just enough to wake you up, to give you a glimpse of how bad your life could be,and make you thankfull for the life you have.